Realisation : Step 1

 Love….

There was One who loved….

One day the one decided to set out to seek what One loved….

Scaled the mountains, reached the peaks… swam in the rivers , caressed the fish, gathered the sand at the beach knowing it will flow out particle by particle… swam in the sea knowing its a part of the ocean, swallowing the water feeling the bitterness despite knowing it was always salty….

The stars were wished upon…. Prayers were made ….. words written & re written…. Temples, cults, people & solitude…. Extreme joy, forced smiles, tears held back…. Flood gates unleashed…. Anger , angst , sarcasm, blocked , unblocked…. 

The One continued , 

One day the one sat down…. Tired …. There is no love …. There is no happiness …. Only tests , pain & hurt…..

Weary & tired the One slept …. Slept through the storms , the snow, the heat & rain…. 

Woke up to see , One was still alive….. 

what a beauty to be alive…..

The One looked back & saw all the adventures & saw the path walked…. 

Looked ahead & saw theres so much more.

But

The One had learned….. 

there will always be pain, there will always be rain….

But what kept the One going was Love….

Love for The One who kept it all going for this One… the love for self….

This One now started walking with a heart full of love…

A mind full of experience…

A body so strong, as this One now knew….

The true meaning of The One

08/01/2024

Thank You 2023

 It’s been a year of games & songs…

Got played… Got swayed….

Danced to tunes … Made to dance…

Hurt , happy , tired & bored yet we soared…

Balanced yet flawed…

Gaurd down… ego lost…

Self discovery… life’s still a mystery…

Alone in a crowd… crowded in loneliness…  

Lessons learnt… bonds strengthened…

We walk into a New Year with our heads held high, hearts full with gratefulness & joy …

Happy New Year 

Thank you 2023

Where?!

 Where did the mail vans go ?…

The wishes stayed …..

Where did the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow go?..

The rainbow still shows…

Where did the fun in jumping in puddles go?…

The puddles still fill up…

Where did the silly laughing at random jokes go?…

The jokes are still cracked…

Where did the fun in long drives go?…

The roads still span out…

Where did the joy in climbing a tree go?…

The trees still stand tall with welcoming branches…

Where did you disappear?…

I still look in the mirror & wonder…

The Moon

 The storm passes & the calm returns,

Night falls, day breaks;

The roller coaster too goes up & down,

We breathe in to breathe out,

Water simmers to a boil,

Flowers wither to bloom again,

The sun sets to rise again;

Through all of this the Moon stays in the sky smiling on…..

The moon knows thats how life goes on….

Smile on …. As long as you have your Moon you know its all going to be good ;

Theres no other way that its meant to be;

Its all meant to be good & will be good … said The Moon :)

Aqua ……

 The musk , the aqua the tones of perfection spread through the house when he walked to the main door picking up the keys ready to drive into a night of fun and frolic. The perfect pocket square and the well polished shoes were never a patch on his well selected cologne.

However, the calming aroma of his aquatic tone perfume never calmed the storm and terror we lived with. The tones of the sea breeze ( a breeze we never felt but only read and heard of) was never strong enough to cover the shrieks of our mothers voice calling out to be spared his beating and abuses. The stillness still lingers with a whiff  of his amazing cologne lingering with the terror of his abuse.

Many years go by , life deals its cards we all play along and well hitting the ‘Jackpot’ is still a fantasy. Paths diverge and intersect and then someday all hell breaks lose.

Here I am praying for the whiff of that cologne to linger on for a while longer. Knowing the trauma and pain it caused to me and my most cherished ,yet being my mother’s daughter I still prayed and cared.

God is kind as always and we had a miracle. I was joyous and grateful. Then I got a gift a gift most cherished as in  his eyes I was always non existence . A nail cutter a Pink nail cutter .  Never been my colour of choice but yet it was beautiful because for the first time in forever it was a gift given with love. It was not the bicycle I won in a contest and was presented to me as a present , it wasn't the watch I was told Im being given because I stood first in my class ( the watch was a Diwali gift from office and exchanged for mine as he didn't need one). This Nail Cutter was for me with all the love . 

Made me angry at that time as comparisons come naturally to us selfish beings. However, I was happy in some weird way.

The gifts kept coming, the soaps , the shoe shines, the wet wipes, the socks, the tooth brushes, the nail files and the kitchen towels.

The recent ones were soaps that were my favourite at one time but when I got them as a “special” gift something snapped and I suddenly realised the aroma will always haunt me and suddenly I questioned myself why is Aqua my favourite…… 

Y.O.L.O ( You Only Live Once ) BUT.....

You only live once BUT life gives you seconds: second chances, second thoughts and second helpings.

Life is not about just once life is about this once and more to come. Life gives you those nasty phases then it gives you seconds. It gives you a second sibiling, it gives you a second chance at making up for the low grades in school, it gives you the chance and choices to love again , to feel free again, to be yourself again.

Life gives you alot more than you realise. From true friends to true loves, from size 0 to size 10 life gives you all. 

From the start till the end, life is always giving us choices and chances , its upto us what we do and how we see it.

You Only Live Once BUT life gives you more than once .....

Rubik's Cube

" Life's a Rubik's Cube, don't try and solve it. Sit back and admire the colours"

"Life's a Rubik's Cube, If Rubik could solve it , so can You".